Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and sustain me with a willing spirit.
I’m guilty of forgetting this verse. I let the world pull me down and let my own fears and doubt blacken my thoughts. But when I get a pick me up from God look out people. Happiness is flowing.
My fingers are antsy and dancing on the keys as I eagerly send them directions. I find it hard to be happier than when I am in the writing zone. It becomes hard when I get distracted by things. It is quite a transformation when I am in a good mood. Sitting here at the computer with music from MTV’s Total Request Live streaming into my head I find it hard to sit still. My heart and soul are dancing within me. This is my happiness. (As I just told my wife, “I’m so happy I’m heavily distracted.”)
Why am I influenced so?
I have always enjoyed music. Born with “cookie bite hearing” as the audiologist put it, I have heard music a different way my whole life.
Imagine with me for a moment as I take you into my world. Few are permitted entrance due to the huge misunderstandings that follow.
When my hearing receptors (I don’t know the fancy medical terms) were forming, not all of them made a solid contact. God designed me this way and it has helped to form who I am today. The receptors that didn’t connect completely were the mid-range in the scale of low to high. This resulted in my hearing to be able to hear women with the higher pitched voices, as well as the men with the deepened bass voice. However, most people speak in the mid-range sector. So when my hearing starts out at 80% on the lows and highs, it plummets in the mid-range to something like 40% if I remember right.
What this did to me is hard to explain. I will do the best I can in as few words as possible. Please do not pity me. I don’t so I don’t want you to either.
When one of your senses is hindered the other senses are heightened. This is what I tell myself anyway. I rely on my sight heavily. While listening to music, the vocals (when utilized) sound like another instrument to me. Very few singers are able to get in the understood zone for me. That is one reason why I like John Cooper from Skillet is that he is able to get there. Also, his lyrics are not full of retarded cuss words.
My wife’s laughter.
My wife gets a kick out me when I sing along to a song. I don’t know many lyrics so the one’s I can’t hear, guess what? I make them up. She laughed really hard when we were first together and I sang along with the B-52’s Love Shack.
The actual lyrics are:
“Hope in my Chrysler it’s as big as a whale and it’s about to set sail.”
What I sang:
“Hope in my Chrysler it’s as big as a van and it’s about to set sail.”
My cleaning power.
So to keep things short, I don’t hear well. My sing-alongs can get really funny. I struggle with conversations. But I am glad that I was born when I was. God needs me here and now just as I am for something. I don’t know completely what it is, but I will one day. Until then, I will continue to write.
My writings have always been a way to get things out of my system. A cleanse. Anger, frustration, joy, happiness. Everything gets written about. I sometimes feel like I can’t get it all out. This is the main reason for this site, as a way to get things out of my head. I write to keep my soul clean. I can’t bottle things up like I did when I was younger. I got in a situation that absolutely infuriated me and now I can feel when my blood pressure is climbing and anxiety also stemmed from it.
I love my God and for His escapes that He has offered me. I also like to read the Bible and let my imagination go wild.
Hopefully, this makes you feel better about yourself. Just keep in mind that as bad as we may think we have it, look around and you can find someone who is in a worse situation. I hold my head up and tackle the day because God gives me the strength to do so.