“I’m not sure if I’m ready to do this.”
“You know, get married.”
It had been a rough couple of weeks prior to this conversation and I thought I was ready to talk to Tim about how I felt. It was turning out that I wasn’t ready after all.
“Really? I thought that we were getting along good.” Tim obviously didn’t feel the same way about things.
Catching my head in my hands, I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. I was glad to not be wearing my eye makeup today. My eyes were rough looking as it was. “I just don’t think that I would make a good wife for you.”
Tim softly chuckled. He did this when I said something that he thought was ‘cute’. “Why, because you’re an amazing cook that is making me gain weight faster than a bloated cow? Or you’ve got the biggest heart I’ve ever seen in a person before. I know! It’s because when you smile your dimples accent your eyes and bring out the sparkle in you.”
He could be such a dork sometimes.
“Come on, quite being so hard on yourself. I wouldn’t want to marry you if I thought you would be a terrible wife.”
I never understood what he saw in me. There is no way I was as good of a person as he tried to make me sound like. I reached out and poked him in his gut, “Moo.” I couldn’t help laughing as a smile exploded across his face showing me his gloriously white teeth.
“That’s my girl.”
I still didn’t understand this guy. I met him at a friend’s birthday party and we get some coffee and now we’re engaged. How did I get to this point.
“I haven’t drove you away yet? Most guys don’t last two weeks with me, must be the gangrene setting in.”
“My pinky toe has been feeling numb lately. I just thought it was from stubbing it on the end table, but maybe it is gangrene.”
Our humor would get rather warped sometimes. But it was all in fun and we enjoyed the nonsensical side of it all. Tim got me started on it and I was officially hooked.
“What kind of wife do you think I would be?” Would he tell me?
“Why do you ask?” He was suspicious, I could hear it in his voice.
“You obviously see something in me that I don’t and I was wanting to know what it was.”
Tim was quite as he contemplated his answer. This was another of his quirks that took some time to get used to.
“I told myself when I was a kid that I wouldn’t marry a girl solely based on her looks. Sure, I want a girl that is good looking, what guy doesn’t? I also don’t want to marry someone that feels like they are worthless all the time. My parents fought all the time and this made them feel like total losers and I don’t want to be around that.”
“Is that all?”
“What else is there?”
“I think every part of you is beautiful. There isn’t enough stars in the sky to match the twinkle that radiates through those big doe eyes of yours. There isn’t enough lava in a volcano to melt my heart the way that you do when you smile at me. There isn’t enough ice in the polar caps to freeze my feelings toward you. I love you and there isn’t a force on earth that can hold me back from loving you. Whether you admit it or not, I’m pretty sure that you are the one for me.”
I hate it when he does this to me. The tears were pouring down my face now dropping down and saturating my shorts. I hated how he could do this to me. I was never this emotional before. But, then again I was never emotional at all until he came around.
“Hold it right there, mister.” Shoving his huge frame proved unsuccessful. It wasn’t enough that he was able to melt my heart without even trying, but that he had muscles bulging from under his blue V-neck was just as unfair. I often had to look away for fear of blushing to much thinking about him without his shirt on. How could I not think that way?
“I need to make decisions that are clear headed ones and you being you doesn’t help me any.”
He faked a surprised reaction, “What did I do? I can’t help it if you are easily manipulated by a stud-muffin like me.” Tim flexed his bicep to prove his point.
I pretended to faint, “Oh! I feel light-headed all of a sudden.” I swayed in his direction and felt the strong embrace of familiar arms closing in around me.
“I’ve got you.”
I reached up and playfully tapped his nose, “Yes you do.” There was no way I was going to let him get away with this. Throwing my arm around his neck, I pulled my lips to his and kissed him.